Richard was born at 5:27 in the morning, so by the time the sun came up, he was here and beautiful and in my arms (but it was a very long night)!
I went into labor early in the morning on the 18th and spent the most of the day being stared at by my mother. Hubby was in Viet Nam and I was missing him terribly - my mother was sad and uncharacteristically emotional about Rich not being there when Richard was born. Every time she looked at me, her eyes filled with tears.
I couldn't afford to "go there" as we say these days. I did not want Richard to enter this world to a sad mother - no way. I was delighted to be pregnant with him - overjoyed that he was about to be born. Frightened and sad would have to wait for another day. I was going to have my baby!!!!!
My mother's best friend, Avis, came to share in "the watch" but not a lot was happening very fast - or at least not fast enough. Thankfully, she was painfully aware of the surrounding gloom and invited me back to her house to help her get dinner and to play pinochle.
When I look back, I'm amazed at her graciousness - to invite me for dinner and to play cards for the evening with the friends she and her husband had invited. She was like a second mother to me in many ways.
SO... we had dinner and played pinochle until about 2:00 in the morning - and then she walked me home - contractions and laughter doubling me over more than once on the way home.
I got home - took a shower - fixed my hair (I wanted to look as good as I could for Richard's first look at his mother) and finally off we went to the hospital. By about 4:00 am, things were moving fast and we arrived too late for the kind of birth I had planned. By the time we did all of the "pre-birth" things, Richard was on his way.
Richard was GREAT, but I was a little worse for wear and we spent the next 4 days in the hospital - which, actually, was kind of nice.
The American Red Cross notified Rich at the U.S. Army mortuary in Saigon, where he was stationed while in Viet Nam. He said it took an extra day for him to find out he had a son because the person with the message wouldn't go near the mortuary at night.
When I finally got home from the hospital, I had a dozen red roses from Rich - so pretty.
Rich was released early, before his year of duty was up. He came home when Richard was just about 6 weeks old.
SUCH a commotion about picking Rich up at Fort Dix. My father wanted to go. He was afraid I'd be so glad to see Rich that I'd just drop Richard on the ground. Really???? My mother wanted to go - just because. And I didn't want anyone to go but Richard - and me.
As it turned out, it was late when Rich finally got in, and so I ended up leaving Richard home to sleep (if I had it to over again, I would have taken him - middle of the night or not). When Rich got home and looked in the bassinet, he picked Richard up... held him close... and just cried. (and so did the rest of us)
Rich told me later that he was afraid many times that he would never see his son. But after that first night, he never mentioned it again.
It was not something I ever allowed myself to think - maybe because of the situation I was in, living with my parents - maybe because I wanted peace and calm and welcoming vibes for Richard. I just couldn't afford to allow myself those kinds of thoughts.
I can't imagine, though, what it must have been like for Rich - so far from home - sleeping in the mortuary, hearing gunfire, knowing how far away your soon-to-be-born baby was - and that he couldn't be there when the baby was born.
It took us about 6 weeks to get moved out and back to Delaware to our own apartment. I don't know how much time Richard spent in "bed" for those 6 weeks. We were SO glad to have him - and SO glad to be all together - it seemed like we just passed him back and forth for those 6 weeks, smiling and laughing at every move he made. We thought he was amazing! (I still do)
Anyway... 39 years ago. It seems so hard to believe that it's been that long.
And he just keeps getting better and better!
No comments:
Post a Comment