Shape your own faith, Lucy!

I was talking to someone near and dear to me the other day about marriage - or specifically, Christian marriage.  (An unnecessarily prickly issue, it seems.)

NearAndDear is considering marriage right after she graduates from college and before her PotentialHusband's senior year.  They are both Christians and their faith is important to them.

She/they make mature, thoughtful decisions and characteristically have been kind enough to include all of us who care about them and their pending news.  (It's not news yet, so don't go crazy.  We're only allowed to be semi-excited for NearAndDear and PotentialHusband.)

(I would also like to add for the record, judge, that NearAndDear is old enough to tell all dissenters to um.. pound sand.)

ANYWAY... PotentialHusband's family is delighted at the prospect of their potential marriage. NearAndDear's family is likewise.

So... where's the problem, you ask?

EXACTLY!

WELL!  OlderAndWiser (also known for this purpose as Lucy) was happy to "share" her Christian perspective with NearAndDear about men feeling like men... and submissive wives... and on.. and on... and blah blah blah... and all of the reasons that this might not be a good idea.  (Ah! The joys of illuminated church friends!) 

I could go off on a tangent about that submissive wife verse in the Bible AND the verse that precedes it, but I'll save that for another day (and if you're lucky, I will have fallen off my high horse before another day and you will totally escape the tangent).

And besides, if you asked all the people (scholars and non-scholars alike) in all the world who believe in the Bible as the inerrant word of God - about the meaning of this particular verse or that particular verse you would get 27 million quite a few differing opinions - each based on a different level of knowledge, faith, and/or life experience.  (And by the way, I think God just laughs at us with all this pettiness - but that's my own non-illuminated opinion)

The point of all this (yes, there is a point) is that NearAndDear and PotentialHusband are committed Christians - strong in their faith - dedicated to honoring God in all things. 

Who is Lucy to measure their relationship with God and the shape of their faith?!?  Who is anyone to define the shape of their faith?  Why, as Christians, do we spend so much time dooming and glooming each other and so little time lifting each other up and encouraging each other?

Why do we people of faith (oh yeah... sorry to say that I can be guilty also.  I may even be guilty as I type this?) seem to think that God cannot make His point or manage this earth without our assistance?

In the end, I guess what I really want to say is that NearAndDear and PotentialHusband are good to go.  If for some reason I'm wrong about that, they communicate with God on a daily basis and He can definitely handle this one.


Shape your own faith, Lucy!

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Convenience is Overrated

TD Bank is no longer my friend. 

I can take a lot - bad customer service - belligerent bank managers - incompetent bank clerks - but when you add ATM fees on top of all that, I'm gone ----------------->  whoooooooosh

When free ATM's were really free, I hung in there with customer service agents who giggled and said.. "I can't tell what that charge is on your account.  It's just letters."  Seriously??

Or when Michael tried to make a deposit and the bank manager told him that I had to sign his paycheck if he wanted to put any of this check in my account.  After a 10 minute debate, Michael gave up and went a mile down the road to another branch of the same bank where they were more than happy to make  his deposit. (By the way... it's called a split deposit.)

Or... or... or.... 

Oh! I could give you a list of incompetencies, but hey!   The bank was open awesome hours and they offered free ATM's.  (And the green ATM cards were cute)

But now I'm being a diligent consumer, making mature decisions based on financial... um... stuff.  

.... and that means saying farewell to ol' TD Bank.

And although my new bank is in actuality a rickety old bank, they thank me for coming AND they have a drive-thru ATM.  (I barely have to slow down!)

Are you friends with your bank?

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In the name of God

September 11th.

I turned on the television this morning and watched some of the memorial services on the major networks - incredible, well-produced images, an amazing flautist, children singing - terribly, terribly sad.

And then I accidentally stumbled onto the Arts & Entertainment channel.  They were showing actual footage from September 11, 2001 with no commentary.  Images of horror, fear, courage.  I watched all of those firemen march toward the disaster and I was struck by the determination in their stride, the lack of fear on their faces.

It was then that I wept and experienced the heartache that I felt that awful day - maybe even more now than then. 

Nothing very profound to say.  It's all been said - and far better than I could ever say it.

Like many, I'm constantly astounded by the atrocities that man perpetuates on man - both en masse and individually - in the name of God.

Violence - in the name of God?  Hatred - in the name of God?  It's not possible - not possible.

The name of God should move us to love a little harder - forgive a little faster.

I don't always do as well as I should.  I don't always practice what I preach.

But the name of God encourages me to do better.

How does the name of God affect you?

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Pardon me while I rant!

I just had a visit from my neighborhood civic association president.  He came to tell me about the neighborhood picnic and garage sale - which I will not attend!

By the time he left, I'm sure he was sorry that he stopped by.   BUT... to his credit, he was still smiling.

I told him that I wanted to put up a privacy fence and asked if that would be okay.  He stammered a little and said that considering who 2 of my neighbors are, the board would certainly consider it.

Me:  So, the rules are not really "the rules".  Although the by-laws clearly state that privacy fences are not allowed, the interpretation of the rules depends on who you are - like high school.  If you're "in", you've got it made.  If you're "out", it's a different world.

Him:  Oh no!  But the board (lower case letter - just my opinion) would be sympathetic to your case.

HELLLLLLOOOOOO!

Then the rules are not the rules and the civic association (again.. they do not deserve upper case letters) is a  joke.

Me:  Did you know that although Edgewood Hills residents are not allowed to construct privacy fences of 4 or 6 feet tall, there is a fence between my yard and "Hateful Anna's" yard that is 108" tall!

Him:  Well, I didn't know how tall it was.  The board was sympathetic because of the hateful man who lives next to you.

Me:  Hateful man next door?  Are you awake?   The hateful one lives behind me - not next door!!! I LIKE Wayne! And besides... that "fence" doesn't even touch his property

Him: (Inredulously)  Really???

Me:  Did you know that she created a trench so that the water from my yard and hers would run into Wayne's yard and that I was told that she would sue me if I tried to fill it in.

Him:  No, I thought he was the one who created the drainage problem.

Me:  Does water run uphill these days???

She whines, cries, manipulates, and spends her life on the phone with the County, filing complaints against the neighbors.  I have dubbed the monstrosity of a fence that she constructed (at a cost of several thousand dollars I'm told) in the back yard...

Anna's Wall of Hate
 I hope it keeps the hate on her side!

My next door neighbor is a good neighbor.  It's not him that is the problem.

Anna sucks!

And so does the civic association.

Thought you should know.

Do you have a "wall of hate" in your life?

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WWJD

So!  I have this neighbor who lives behind me - educated, attractive, well-groomed, healthy (apparently).  She is a member and attender of one of the most prestigious churches in the area - for all appearances, a Christian.

And yet she doesn't have one kind word for any of her neighbors.  She certainly hasn't had one for me in the 20 years I've lived here. Comments from the neighbors about her range from "petty"... to "crazy"... to "mean spirited _____".

She regularly reports (real and imagined) property infractions to the County (and yes, I'm one of those receiving a visit from a County official - and at least some of my infractions were real). 

Recently, she had flood lights installed on the back of her house.  They don't point down at her property.  They point directly into my back windows.   I thought briefly about contacting our friend, the County inspector.  But being a "live and let live" kind of gal, I just close my room-darkening curtains in the bedroom and enjoy the fact that she's lit my back yard nearly as well as she's lit her own.  So, go for it, neighbor.  Light the world! 

Her yard is near-perfect - an apparent metaphor for her life.  She works hard on it, spending hours and hours raking, mowing, brushing, blowing, sweeping, tidying.  And yet I've never seen her sit on the beautiful bench in the back of her yard and read a book or enjoy her lunch in the beautiful setting she's created.  It appears to be much more about appearance than function.

There are days I'd love to fill my back yard with plastic pink flamingos and barbed wire "art" and wait to do battle with the County representative who would almost certainly come to visit.

But most days, I wonder what makes her so unhappy.  Where does the anger come from?  What hurts?

As I sit here, looking out my window at her house and yard, I wonder if there is anything I can do to make it better (other than landscape my yard in like fashion - which I'd love, but can't afford - and would do myself if I were physically able.)

Thanksgiving has passed.  Christmas is on the way. 'Tis the season to be all about peace, love, forgiveness.  What would Jesus do???